The article is about what five different guys think when a girl does "the reach" to split the bill on a first date.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleglamourmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=22707449>1=32023
I don't really consider myself old-fashion in many aspects, but if a guys asks me out, I expect him to pick up the check. Just like if I ask him out, I expect to pick up the tab.
So a little over a month ago a guy and I ended up going out last minute. I had already eaten, but he was starving so we went to dinner and he ate. I of course got dessert and we split it. He picked up the tab. I guess maybe I should have offered, but didn't and really I'm not going to stress over it.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I go out with the same guy. This time I had tickets for an event I knew he'd enjoy so I asked him out. We went out to dinner afterwards, a place a little more expensive that I had expected, but still reasonably priced. He did offer to split the bill. I'm not sure if I appreciated it or not. I did ask him out, so paying for the activities was up to me in my mind.
The tough part about the whole thing was comparing my dating experiences over the past few years to now. I've gone out with several guys that are not LDS and it doesn't matter they've always picked up the tab. The LDS guys I went out with previously were the same. It didn't matter if I did the asking, they paid. So I've been spoiled. That had become my expectation. So when I wasn't necessarily happy about picking up the tab and then not sure how to feel about him offering to split the check... I had to step back and evaluate my expectations and feelings over the whole situation.
The rules of dating have definitely changed from what we grew up observing and hearing about. Unfortunatley I don't think we really have a new set of rules to go by.
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4 comments:
It worked! I'm excited to read it! :)
And I too think splitting the check, etc. is a taboo, not sure what to do topic.
I don't think that the expectation should change. I would always try to pickup the check when I was dating, unless the girl firmly insisted that she wanted to. Just because there are a few guys out there that either a) have not been taught proper manners/etiquette or b) are cheep, does not mean that your expectations should be lowered. Most guys just need a little training/coaching.
What Ted, I have to train a guy? lol
Well... Yes. But beware, some are more trainable than others. ;)
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